Skip the primary navigation if you do not want to read it as the next section.
Skip the main content if you do not want to read it as the next section.
| Ged Simpson, Funding Adviser at Liverpool Charity and Voluntary Services sketches a light-hearted scenario of the weird weird world of funding. |
A Funding Adviser’s Diary: 26 August 2012, 11.30am appointment
“Hi. I’d like some advice on starting up a social enterprise. I wanted to touch base offline. Looking for some investment. I believe you use that quaint phrase “funding” still.”
“Hi I’m Ged. I advise on funding. What are your plans?”
“Well, I used to run ‘Blue Sky Public Management and Marketing Systems Consultants’ but the market has crashed and I would like to move into the third sector.”
“OK. And what will you be doing?”
“I was thinking of bringing in a business model that has been used since the start of history in the 1980’s to maximise footfall, reduce unit costs and ultimately capture a significant share of the specified market in question.”
“Right. Erm… Let’s explore your mission.”
“It seems to me the third sector has taken its eye off the ball. I will bring in the hungry spirit of the entrepreneur. I will use state-of-the-art marketing strategies focussing on differentiation, positioning and branding. This will feed into and inform our lead nurturing strategy which will in turn lead to increased footfall and the associated benefits. All the ducks in a row and standing to attention, I'd say?”
“OK. You can have a seat if you like?”
“No, John. Always moving, always moving. Moving target, no moss. Dave”
“As long as you’re comfortable.”
“Look, Mike. I’ve done my research. Once I have established ourselves in the market, we intent to secure some lucrative public service contacts. We know we will lack capacity for delivery to the customer, but think a sub-contracting model will drive down costs through a ‘take it or leave it’ approach to struggling small local sub-contractors. Ever seen more low hanging fruit? Even exploring virtual service delivery by a cross functional teams operating in a matrix management scenario. What do you think, Tom?”
“Well, I’m amazed. So, how do you think I can help?”
"I need a grant for salary if I am to help out your sector. Ball park £38k?”
“OK. And what exactly will you be delivering?”
Sadly his DigiZoid Browntooth rang and he dashed out waving his arms. Never did find out what he had planned.
This article was originally published in Liverpool CVS Newsletter, June 2010 edition. The Weird Weird World of Funding is a light-hearted series by Ged Simpson, a Funding Adviser at Liverpool Charity and Voluntary Services.